What is Blindfold Sex? Beginner Bondage 101

what is blindfold sex? Beginner Bondage 101

What is blindfold sex?

Whether you are a fan of the “50 Shades” franchise of films or not, you must admit that these blockbuster movies brought BDSM mainstream.  Blindfold sex is considered entry-level or “BDSM-lite” and is one of the greatest ways of crossing into the “naughty” side of sensory deprivation.

Blindfolds are among the least expensive items we sell, and are probably one of the number one most exciting items sold in the store. 

Is blindfold sex really a “thing”?   An online study of 2000 women revealed that blindfold sex was in the top 5 things the women wanted to try.

Sensory deprivation or “perceptual isolation” as it is often called in medical terms, is an intentional attempt to reduce the stimuli that bombard your senses.  Think of it as a way to remove all the static and noise, and allow you to concentrate on your feelings.

Your brain operates with backup systems to evaluate and process the feelings being received.  When one of your main senses is reduced or temporarily eliminated, your brain shifts gears and begins compensating by increasing attention to the feelings coming in through your remaining senses.

That sounds too complicated but it really is simple.  If we remove sight with a blindfold for example, we then pay more attention to touch, sound, smell, taste, and scent – all of these become more intense in an effort to compensate for the loss of sight.

Concentrate on feelings

Removing the visual stimulus that so many of us rely on, allows us to fell our remaining senses more intently, increasing our arousal and sexual excitement.

Blindfold sex requires understanding from both partners about rules, boundaries and limitations so that everyone is on the same page – sexually speaking.

We can trick our minds to look beyond appearances, but when a blindfold removes the appearance, our mind may find excitement in ways not previously experienced.

Studies have also found that blindfolds help the person wearing the blindfold to lower their inhibitions and try new things, positions and objects that they previously were too shy to do.

You have probably never thought about it before, but there is something about the dark that allows us to feel more open, more wild and less worried about what others think.  Although the feelings are different by a mile, think of the excitement that you feel in a dark haunted house.  You know you are safe, but it is dark … and the dark changes everything.

Blindfolds are made of silk, satin, cotton, leather, and other materials.  They are secured in place by ties, buckles or elastic strips. 

Part of the excitement for the wearer is when the partner puts on the blindfold and secures it.  At that moment, the wearer is surrendering a small amount of control. 

Just a tiny beginning into the word of bondage and restraints.

Incredible sensitive foreplay

One of the comments wearer’s make all the time is they do not know what is coming next.  That is the point of blindfold sex – if you don’t know where or how you are going to be touched or stroked — you can’t plan for it.

We tell couples to have music playing slightly louder than normal when you decide to experiment with Blindfold sex to cover the sounds of the non-blindfolded partner moving around; picking things up, opening wrappers, etc.

Selectively and alternatively kiss your partner’s body mixed with light touches and strong massage or deep rubs.  Vary constantly from arms to the opposite leg to the neck to toes.  Your blindfolded partner needs to experience shock at every moment that you make contact.

Shock and surprise

Tickler feathers are also a fun add on allowing you a way to give very light touches, followed up with light rubs, and even light scratches like those you would give to a child with an itch (no deep scratches as a beginner) – just a simple multi finger scratch being brought down one part of the body; then back to a tickler on another part.

Add a silicone whip to your fun.  These whips are not designed to hurt.  Choose a whip with many spaghetti-noodle looking strands of silicone or rubber. First, use the whip to drag the strands along the body, allowing only the tips to touch the skin, which allows the feeling of a dozen different tips touching your partner at once.  Gently flip the whip against the skin enough only to surprise but not generate pain. For now, no pain.

Temperature Play

We sell many safe, low temperature candles which allow you to drop candle wax on your partner.  However, we suggest this for intermediate and advanced stages of blindfold sex.  The fear of burning is often too much for beginners and overshadows the good feelings being generated.

DO NOT use birthday candles or any other candles around your house. DO NOT USE. They melt at a high temperature and are likely to cause serious injury.

Of course, we have alternatives – that is why LoveWorks exists – to make sure we off the products and information you need. 

We offer a variety of massage lotions that get very warm with your exhaled breath.  Begin by gently applying the lotion of your choice to different parts of the body (of course you should include the neck, the nipples, and the stomach/abdomen) and don’t forget all of the other spots available like inside of the thigh or the tops of the feet (a surprisingly sensitive patch of skin).

Hopefully you remembered to sneak a few ice cubes in your glass of water.  Drink the water so that you can easily get to the ice cubes. Remember not to drip any water before you touch your partner with ice for the first time. After that, you can include dripping ice water as part of the play. 

Blowing vs Exhaling

There is big difference between the two.  Slow, deep exhaling is where your breath is at its hottest.  Blowing cools thing down.

After rubbing patches of warming lotion on your partner’s body, use your slow, deep exhales to heat up the patch of skin that have the lotion.

Stop for a second and quietly get an ice cube.  Now rub that ice cube on the skin that you just heated.  Then move to another part of the body and repeat what you just did, but in reverse … cool it off then heat it up.

Time to have a quick scavenger hunt

This is where advance planning comes in.  You should only be away from someone experiencing blindfold sex as a beginner for no more than a minute or two.  To make this next step work, you must have pre-planned it without your partner knowing.

Find things with unique scents … and no, your jock strap and socks do not count (unless your partner is in to that of course)! 

A piece of cake, strawberry ice cream, some other food that has smells that your partner likes.  I love the smell of marshmallows … don’t know why but there is something uniquely sexual to that scent.

Don’t forget bananas, oranges, fruit loops or even a Halls cough drop. You aren’t going to use all of these, but this gives you ideas of what you have in your house.

As I am writing this, I am trying to imagine what I could use in my house right now.  I have some Cheetos, marshmallows, honey roast peanuts, ice cream, chocolate chip cookies and a strawberry drink like Fanta Red.  And of course, I have chapstick – maybe I still have the coconut flavored one!

There needs to be minutes between these scent experiences so the body can reset.  Gently and slow pass the item under your partner’s nose without touching their lips or skin.  Immediately return to something else such as light touching, tickling, etc. to force her mind to switch senses quickly to another activity on another place of the body.

Touch with flavor

Dip your finger into the strawberry drink or ice cream, but only allow a small film to be on your finger.  Gently touch your finger to your partner’s mouth and rub it from one side to the other and then let it stay under your partner’s nose for a second while they use their tongue to taste what you have applied.

I could go on and on – but I don’t want to tell you what to do – I want you to find the things that will excite your partner in ways never before experienced.

The blindfold wearer’s fantasies

I have really concentrated up to now on the person who will be in charge of the excitement, which is the person NOT wearing the blindfold.

Now I want to talk about what the person wearing the blindfold should be doing.  Use blindfold sex as a time for your mind to fantasize.  Make up your fantasies as you go – think of what friends have told you of their fantasies.  Perhaps a visit to a foreign beach and sex on the beach with a faceless native – or multiple natives.

Fantasies enhance your sex life without obligations, guilt or admissions.  Fantasies are harmless but give us the opportunity to experience the strange, the taboo, or acts that aren’t accepted in your life or status.  And you never stepped outside of your relationship so you are not cheating, regardless of what your fantasies featured.

When not to engage in blindfold sex.

I live in southern Louisiana with boiled crawfish and other intensely odorous foods.  You don’t do blindfold sex on the nights you eat these foods.  In fact, sex on crawfish night is a no-no in my house.  It doesn’t matter how many times you wash your hands, you can’t get the pepper out of your pores and skin/nail crevices.  And in case you haven’t experienced this, genitals do not like red pepper. Sex is immediately over. Do not pass go. Go directly to jail.

The night you are out drinking on the town is also not the night to experiment with blindfold sex.  You need an attention span that alcohol won’t help, and you need to be thinking clear without anything dulling your senses. Alcohol is likely to make the non-blindfolded partner not as gentle, and certainly not as patient. Trust me.

Blindfold sex is to help you connect and revitalize all of your senses and the feelings and emotions they can generate.

Sex without seeing – the positions

I prefer to keep all the sex in the bed; not venturing into standing sex or wall sex, or chair sex, because I feel that the person wearing the blindfold will become fearful of falling, losing balance, or stubbing a toe. Plus the move you get them to move, the more likely the blindfold slips or begins to fail, allowing light and images to ruin your partner’s state of mind.

There are enough positions which work just find in the safety of the bed.

Missionary, doggie style, side or spoon sex, are all available – and not being able to see changes the expectation.

Missionary is known as the eye-to-eye sex position.  Blindfold sex changes that because one person can’t see.  One way to make it more interesting is to position your partner so that there is no skin touching except at the genitals.  In other words, as a male, you are on your elbows and toes with no other skin touching your partner except for your genitals.

That way, your occasional touches, strokes, rubs or hot/cold exercises will be a complete shock.

“I can still see you”

Blindfold sex doesn’t always work as planned because of the blindfolds we choose, or the shape of our face and nose, do not always block out the light enough to give us the real darkness.

In these cases, we suggest something like the “submission mask”, which is a full head cover with an opening for the mouth.  It provides much more of a sensory deprivation than a blindfold will, but is usually reserved for the intermediate level.  But it will block out light and stop that “I can still see you” comment that too many of us have heard!

Blindfold sex allows you to experiment and “dip your big toe” into role playing, fantasy play, or more accurately, BDSM.  Blindfold sex is also a very tame way of experimentation which would not garner gasps or bad looks from those who know you.  It is more “basic fun” than it is a form of bondage.  Keep that in mind when you are trying it for the first time. 

One comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *