Dear Christianne:
I am not writing for advice. I am writing because I want to share with the world what was done to me at my wedding by my future husband.. I don’t wish this on anyone, and I’m sure there are others with worse stories, but here is mine.
On my wedding day, no one (including me) had seen or heard from my future husband. He wasn’t answer my calls or my messages. I also tried to call and text his friends (the groomsmen) but they weren’t answering or replying to my texts either. Everyone at the wedding was getting worried, as we all began to think the worst possible thoughts.
It never crossed my mind that I was being stood up. I was positive that couldn’t happen. So my only thought was that all of them (they were in one car) had been involved in a car wreck and must be hurt, otherwise someone would have called.
Finally, all of the groomsmen and my future husband all arrive at the wedding. They tell me that the car broke down, and blah-blah-blah. I was too happy that my man was ok and not in a hospital somewhere, I didn’t think to ask why they couldn’t answer their phones while the car was stopped. I wouldn’t think of this till much later.
We immediately began the wedding, and everyone was so happy, including me. The wedding was wonderful and so was the short duration of the marriage.
It may not have ever come out, except that one of the people who knew all the details, assumed that the person they were talking to — ALSO knew all the details. The one doing the talking made jokes and comments about what happened before the wedding to the brother of my future husband (well, now EX-husband). The guy assumed that my husband’s brother would have known everything. He was wrong and those loose lips started a chain reaction that could not be stopped.
My husband’s brother came to me first to tell me the story; then went and told all of the family. He asked me if it would be ok if he let everyone in on the truth and I agreed, because I knew I would be leaving the son of a bitch as soon as I could get the papers drawn up.
The story: On the day of my wedding, my husband had his friends who were all the groomsmen in our wedding, drive him to the house of the women he was cheating with. They all stayed in the car, while my NOW-EX husband went inside and had SEX with the whore who knew he was on his way to get married. The groomsmen wouldn’t answer their phones because they didn’t want to lie to me because they didn’t have a story worked out yet.
Yes I divorced him. And yes, I know most men do cheat. But it is one thing to cheat with a one-night stand that means nothing to you … and a completely different thing to cheat with your other girlfriend JUST BEFORE YOUR WEDDING.
What kind of man does that? He is still with his other women, and if there is any justice in the world, karma will bring it to both of them. He did this to me; what will he do to her?
This was an emotional nightmare, but I survived. I met another man recently that I hope will turn into a long-term relationship, so just saying that helps me to realize that I have recovered.
Thanks for letting me tell my story. My advice to all sisters – don’t be naive. Pay attention to what is going on around you. I would have seen the warning signs if I had paid attention.
Christianne Replies:
Hi, you didn’t include your name, so I don’t know what to call you. The story of your future husband having sex while you were waiting to get married rates as one of the of cringey stories I have read in a long time.
I really feel for you and I am glad you came through this. You didn’t write for advice, so I wouldn’t try to give any. Divorce was the right choice; and I am glad you realized it immediately. That action likely cut down on years of suffering and being “beat down” by his actions.
Out of fairness to the guys reading this, I am not bashing men here. Although we don’t usually hear the stories, things like this happen — to both men and women. There are good and bad women; there are good and bad men.
Good luck to you in your second chance!
(I held off on posting this until the first of January 2020, because I want this to be part of the “out with the bad” and the encouragement we all need to do better. Lets use the year 2020 as a chance to do better; to see better – that was a joke).
