Help! My Sextoys Were Stolen!
Who buys used sextoys? A pawn shop? Icky.
The first story I found was in Sandy, Oregon, where a car thief was breaking into cars and hit the jackpot. Apparently, Chelsey Coutts had been stocking up on sextoys for an upcoming bachelorette party to the tune of $500, and storing them in her trunk to make sure the kids didn't find them. I'm not sure what the thief was thinking, but he stole all the toys!
I mean, really. It is not like he can sell them? Show up at the pawn shop. "Hey dude, I got some never used sextoys to sell … really cheap".
And yes, she really reported it to the police. And yes, they really asked her to describe the items! Can you imagine that conversation. "Well officer, one of them was bright red, and a long t-handle. The name of that toy is the Extra Large Butt Plug Sextoy Special."
If you can't leave sextoys in your trunk these days, what kind of world are we living in? The only picture for this story was of Ms Coutts, who happens to be a very pretty woman … but I decided not to include it.
Wait, there is more? More thefts of sextoys? Say it isn't so?
From the news report on Mlive:
Shortly after a Bay City man proposed to his girlfriend at Walmart, the pair shoplifted jewelry and sex toys, police say, leading the newly engaged couple to spend their New Year's Eve in jail.
When he was searched by the police, they found "an edible thong, a sex toy, panties and sex candy". Oops.
According to the flier which made the rounds on the web, someone in Houston, Texas (with telephone prefix 281, which includes North Houston), had her car broken into downtown, near Westheimer and Taft.
In the car was a black bag containing three items — an Njoy toy, a blue dildo designed to be used with a strap-on dildo, and a strap-on harness.
And she is offering a $100 reward to get them back.
WHY??? Do you REALLY want them back?? I don't think she has $200 worth of toys lost. Why would you want to pay $100 for possibly USED toys? No thanks.
I could never find any validation that this really occurred, but the details of the location and the matching telephone prefix make me think it was real.
People really do steal sex toys. Damn. Who-da-thunk-it.