Bud Sex & Bro Jobs: Straight Guys Having Sex With Each Other
Are you still straight if you regularly have bud sex or give bro jobs with other men? For these fella’s, the answer is YES!
The traditional notions of sexuality have been undergoing a massive transformation over the last few years. Both men and women are embracing ever broadening descriptions of their own sexuality and acceptance of non hetero-sexual identities has been met with increasing acceptance.
But not for everyone.
Rural areas tend towards socially conservative views and attitudes towards sexuality. It’s almost expected that men will get married, have kids and pursue careers and hobbies that express their masculinity.
It’s not unusual for men to ditch their wives for the weekend and go on the rampage. A few beers, a strip club and top it all off with a barbeque.
But that’s where a whole new kind of fun starts.
After having a typical boy’s night out, sometimes it ends with straight guys having sex with each other. It is a phenomenon being called bud sex — and usually involves oral sex or "bro jobs" between the friends.
Bud sex happened between many guys when they were young – but was called “circle jerks” back then, where guys usually only masturbated each other. There was no sexual attraction, it was just guys helping each other out. Even as a youngster, they knew that an “unfamiliar” hand felt better!
And with today's bud sex, they aren’t going to the ultra-feminine guys that would make them see more masculine by comparison.
They’re going for men just like themselves. The kind they would be best friends with. And they absolutely refuse to be labelled as homosexual, bisexual or anything other than straight. They claim it’s simply a case of helping each other out by giving each other a bro-job, making them almost masturbatory in nature. They reject the comparison to straight guys having sex with each other — as they claim there is no "sex".
It definitely adds a whole new level of meaning to saying bro’s before ho’s.
So just what the hell’s going on with all this bud sex, and bro jobs, and straight guys having sex?
Men having sex with other men, whilst explicitly rejecting a non-straight sexual label, isn’t an entirely new phenomenon. These kinds of sexual acts have been an open secret of military and naval organizations – the ‘any port in a storm’ approach to lack of female sexual options leading men to engage in intercourse with each other for purely physical satisfaction.
Besides the military environment, there is also a sexual attitude that occurs in prison and in gender segregated schools called "gay for the stay but straight at the gate"; as well as "opportunistic homosexuality". In effect, when placed in a gender-segregated environment, men (and women) will turn to providing sexual favors in exchange for the same sexual favors — ie: bro jobs for a bro jobs.
But that doesn’t quite explain what’s going on. The men engaging in bud-sex and the humorously named ‘bro-jobs’ have wives, and have the opportunity to meet other women for affairs, so what else could explain the behavior? Simple: simplicity, availability and confidentiality.
Historical cultures, such as the Roman Empire and the Ancient Greek city states were remarkably accepting of straight men having sex with each other.
In fact, it was so normalized that the Spartans (of 300 fame) were often more comfortable having sex with other men, as they would not marry until their 30s. Romans too had a relatively permissive sexual culture, and would look down on effeminacy rather than homosexual acts themselves.
But this still doesn’t do much to explain why it’s happening in the first place.
There are multiple theories competing for attention – the most prevalent of which is that these men are simply like other LGBTQ groups, possessing a sexual attraction to other masculine men with an unhealthy case of denial or fear of the consequences of ‘coming out’.
Alternatively, there is the possibility that the restrictive conservative environment has made it harder for these men to fully understand their own sexual identities, and that the negative – even hostile – reactions they exhibit towards homosexuality and flamboyance are simply the result of being raised in an environment where it is normal to think and act in such ways.
Female sexual experimentation is more commonly accepted – without the need to label the women that have ‘lesbian experiences’ as also being lesbians. Perhaps the same curiosity is what drives bud-sex?
The simplest explanation would be that these men are not entirely straight – and merely claim to be because it fits their understanding of the world. Bisexuality is often misunderstood as being equally attracted to both males and females, but the truth is that it can vary wildly from one day to another.
It also comes down to animal instincts. Guys want to be brought to orgasm by someone else. There will be no accusation of cheating, and there will be no suspicion, when the bro jobs are coming from a close friend of the same sex.
There will also be no discussion between guys of "like" and "relationships" — because what occurred is simply the animalistic urge to orgasm. I'll scratch your back, if you will scratch mine — how many times have you heard that said?
Being attracted to both genders doesn’t prevent bisexual men from having successful marriages with women – and this could be the case here. Although happily married by all accounts – they’re simply unable to fulfill certain sexual needs with their wives – but also feel politically and socially at odds with the majority of gay culture.
It is one reason that new terms like "polysexual" or "sexually fluid" are coming into play. Most people feel that "bisexual" means a sexual attraction to men and women equally without realizing there are other divisions within bisexuality including "sexually bi, but emotionally straight" — where guys will have sex with guys, but have no interest in kissing or other emotional attachments to guys.
The truth is that none of these explanations will fully account for all men who engage in it. What we’ve been learning over the last few years is that sexuality, gender, what arouses people and why is a lot more complicated and multifaceted than we ever thought.
But there is one simply thing we’ve overlooked.
Male bonding is often harshly judged by the media in a way that friendship between women isn’t. Many have been quick to pile on with mocking judgments.
Sex can be an incredible bonding experience – leading relationships to a deeper level. Is there any reason why it couldn’t be the same between friends of the same gender, without necessarily making them gay or bisexual?
So what’s your opinion about bud sex and bro jobs? Is it simply a case that these men are in a closet designed to mesh with their macho lifestyles, or is there something deeper going on with straight guys having sex with other guys?
Leave a comment below and have your say!
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