Vibro Anal Balls – A Pipedreams Fail
I love sex toys. I love anal sex toys. I love anal sex toys from Pipedream. This is why I was so excited to get my hands on this new sex toy, the Vibro Anal Balls, from the Pipedream AnalFantasy collection. Anal play is quickly becoming more accepted in general and is being widely embraced and enjoyed by tens of thousands of people; gay, straight and everything in between.
I know I probably just lost maybe half of the men who were reading this and made a face and clicked to the next web page at the mention of anal play in THEIR butts. Try to have an open mind. Remember the first time you were faced with a plate full of sushi? Now you love it – or at least you TRIED it. It’s not for nothing that there is a sign in the LoveWorks Adult Store testifying to the fact that orgasms involving anal play are some of the best that men can have. Women too! The Vibro Anal Balls are meant are meant to be inserted anally to enhance your sexual experience, whether alone or with a partner.
Well, what are Vibro Anal Balls? Pipedream describes them as a toy with “Self-Pleasuring Vibrations!” and as having a “Sturdy Retrieval Cord for Safe and Easy Removal”. The last note is very, very important for anal play. No one wants the doctor’s help to have to remove anything that they have put up their bottom. There are three versions of this toy; the Vibro Anal Balls, the Deluxe Vibro Anal Balls and the Elite Vibro Anal Balls. I have the basic version of the toy to review. What are they? Read on!
As usual, Pipedream does an excellent job packaging their toys. The box is attractive and the photo on the front accurately (mostly) depicts the product inside. Pipedream really wants you to enjoy their toys and for you to have a sexy, exciting, fulfilling anal experience. To that end they have some directions for use on the back of the box that are very helpful if you are new to anal play.
They suggest going slow, plenty of arousal first, use lots of good quality lube, and RELAX. Finger play is a great way to start and Pipedream includes a couple of black rubber finger cots to keep things clean. They thoughtfully include a small sample of their lube, Moist, to help ease things along. Personally, I find the Moist lube to be a terrific product – it does what it is supposed to do and does it very well.
Lots of lube is the key to enjoying anal fun. If you like butt fun, and I’m betting you will, LoveWorks has dozens and dozens of lubes to choose from and offers numerous articles and reviews to help you make an informed decision. Don’t skimp on the lube. Pipedream also includes a bottle of their toy cleaner, Refresh, and a small sample of Analeaze. Analeaze is a gel that contains a numbing agent. This is supposed to make your anal play pain free.
It is my opinion (my opinion only) that anal play should always be pain free, unless you like it to hurt a little – or a lot! Pain is the bodies way of saying “slow down there, pardner!” and if you desensitize this warning you run the risk of doing actual harm to delicate tissues. I skip the anesthetic. Just go slow, relax, and use plenty of lube. If it hurts and you don’t like it – stop. It’s really that simple.
I have the basic version of the toy and that is what we will be looking at. I will briefly describe the differences between the three versions later. The Vibro Anal Balls are a set of two balls, about 1.25” in diameter. This is a good size for an anal toy. Maybe an absolute beginner would find this uncomfortable, but if you find that you can easily take (and enjoy!) a well lubed thumb, you should have no problem inserting balls this size.
Perhaps a small butt plug as a warm-up would be appropriate. Even if you are used to playing with anal toys and could take something of a larger diameter without any trouble, this toy brings a new dimension to anal play – the vibro effect! The balls are connected by a very sturdy cord (more about this later) 2.5“ long. There is then a loop of cord about 7” long – this is the loop that keeps you from going to the emergency room! The balls are very heavy, about 1.5 oz. each, and are made of very smooth ABS plastic.
For the chemistry freaks out there, ABS is acrylonitrile butadiene styrene. ABS plastic is a very sturdy, impact resistant and body safe material. The make LEGO bricks out of this stuff. ABS plastics ground down very, very finely are used as colorants in some tattoo inks! It’s certainly safe for your butt. Pipedream does mention that the plastic is phthalate free – these compounds are kinda icky and you don’t want them stuffed into your holes.
Due to the chemical properties of the ABS material any lubes you would want to use; water based, silicone based or hybrids, are safe with the Vibro Balls; but no solvents for cleaning please, only soap and water. Also, this material will deform at high temperatures, so no boiling to “sterilize” the Vibro Anal Balls.
Inside of each of the balls is a smaller ball, where the weight is concentrated. This is what gives the balls their “vibro”. The idea being that as you move your body during intercourse or masturbation or just walking around, the inner weights knock around and give you pleasurable sensations. Sort of the anal equivalent of benwa balls.
The toy is very well made, like all of Pipedream’s products. The balls themselves are very smooth, with just the faintest line where the two halves were joined together. The cord seems to be very sturdy and certainly would not break under normal use. If you owned this product and used it a lot, I would suggest examining the cord periodically to check for wear. Toss them away if you do see wear.
I wanted to try this toy out in several different ways. I decided to first wear it out and then come back home and use it while masturbating. Later on I would try this while having sex with my wife. I love wearing/using toys while I’m out in public. It’s such a naughty secret! I’ve worn cock rings out, used anal vibes out, worn nipple clamps out – this is all very arousing to me.
So, I inserted the vibro anal balls and went about my errands – secret securely hidden. A couple of cool features about this toy – it is completely silent and it never needs batteries. No cord dangling from your ass to the controller in your pocket and no loud buzz to attract unwanted attention. I like the fullness from the toy; there was no doubt that there was something there.
The vibro action did work – walking and even just riding in the car made the balls jump around inside the larger spheres. This was subtle, certainly not as strong as a vibrator, but pleasant and arousing. It was different from a vibe in that it was more of a random thing than just a constant buzz. I found myself bouncing around just to get the feeling from the Vibro anal Balls. That must have looked funny walking around the store. While it was good, it didn’t have the same strength of sensation that some other toys do.
When I got home I wasted no time in dropping pants and getting down to a good rub off session. Here the Vibro Anal Balls really shined! With each stroke it was as though something was “pushing back” from inside. The sensation really made jerking off different and more exciting. It’s always good, but this made it just a little better. Pipedream says you can quickly pull the toy out while you are coming for a mind-blowing orgasm, but these were a little large for me to try that. Your mileage may vary.
I would like to be able to tell you what it was like to have sex with the vibro anal balls in my bottom. I can’t. I didn’t want to use it again while having sex with my wife. I didn’t want to use it again at all. And the reason for that is the cord that holds it all together. The cord is a woven material. I’m not sure if it is polyester, or polyethylene, or nylon, or cotton, or jute or catgut. I have no idea what it is made of. The Pipedream folks aren’t saying on the packaging either. Maybe it’s ABS plastic. I don’t know.
All I do know is that this toy is difficult, if not impossible, to get clean. Anal play, no matter how careful one is, usually necessitates having to clean your anal toys very well after use. You get my drift? With a smooth glass toy, or metal toy, or quality silicone toy – even an ABS plastic toy – this is very easily accomplished. Not so much with the Vibro Anal Balls. After the first use I used the Refresh toy cleaner and plenty of hot water. I especially gave attention to where the cords enter the balls and the cords themselves.
Upon drying the toy still had a little “funk” to it. I tried again with anti-bacterial soap and lots of hot water. No luck. No matter what I did the toy definitely didn’t get as clean as I would have liked it to be. The truth is I suspected that this would be the case the first minute I had the toy in my hands. From the photos in the ad copy you can’t tell this is a woven cord. It looks smooth. It isn’t. What to do? Boiling is out of the question for ABS plastic and I don’t know what effect bleaching would have on the cord, so I can’t recommend that. The last thing you would want is for the cord to snap during use or to get residual bleach inside your butt.
I REALLY, REALLY wanted to like this product and it DID work very well. That being said, I would not recommend this to anyone, because of the cleaning issues. Sadly, after one use and numerous attempted cleanings this toy went into the trash.
There are two other Vibro Anal Balls variations available and I will briefly describe those. I didn’t have them in hand so this is really a best guess. Take it for what it is worth. The Deluxe version of the Vibro Anal Balls has four balls instead of two. I’m sure that this would feel awesome jiggling around in my ass! Unfortunately, the picture on the box shows the same looped (presumable woven) cord that the Vibro Anal Balls I used has. No thanks.
The Elite version is another story, though. This toy has two balls and they are slightly larger at 1.5”. The big game changing difference is that the entire toy is coated in Pipedream’s Elite Silicone. No woven cord, no tiny cracks where the cord goes into the ball – just an absolutely clean, smooth, continuous silicone surface. I imagine (remember I don’t have this one) that this would be very easy to clean to the level needed with anal toys. If the balls worked the same way, then this toy would be a hit with me. Perhaps later on I will purchase one of these.
I’m a little disappointed in Pipedream. I have always loved their products and have used and written about lots of them and have never been disappointed until now. They have a whole line of anal toys, the AnalFantasy collection. They must realize the degree of cleanliness required for anal toys. They make a model entirely covered in body safe, easy to clean silicone. Yet they still offer these corded products. I don’t get it.
LoveWorks Adult stores do carry the Vibro Anal Balls and at a very reasonable price. If you can live with the cord, this is a fine toy. If you can’t live with the cord, LoveWorks does carry hundreds (thousands?) of other butt toys – something for everyone from newbie to seasoned veteran. So have fun and explore!
The comments about the connecting string and the lack of ability to thoroughly clean the string is an argument as old as time! LoveWorks is in its 26th year, and we have sold the same cheap-as-can-be anal beads for most of those 26 years. The reviewer makes a good point — it is amost impossible to fully clean the string — which, if you notice the pictures is now black — while the cheap ones I just mentioned have WHITE string.
These items are now "pseudo-disposable" toys – meaning that the average customer will keep them for only a few uses then throw them away. Also as mentioned in the review, there are other "anal-bead or ball-type products" that use a silicone coating between balls, giving you many choices.
I am glad the reviewer noticed this shortfall of this product! This doesn't mean that customers will stop buying this item — it only means that customers will know up front that this $15 item is not intended to last a lifetime.]