Man Dies From Strapon Pegging By Scarecrow

pegging by scarecrow

Popular sex quote says, “If you are not getting it, you might as well pay for it”, or get a scarecrow to do  role play.  The latter part of the sentence was probably what was going on in 58-year-old Jose Alberto’s mind when he dressed a scarecrow to be sexy and bent over for a little strapon pegging.  Alberto reportedly put lipstick and a wig on the scarecrow before strapping a sex toy (strap on penis) to the crow in a bid to get freaky.

Sometime later, the police were called and guess why? Alberto’s corpse was found lying right next to his motionless lover.  After careful examination of the scene, police spokesman, Rodolfo Moure highlighted that there was no evidence of stress or coercion; although the strapon pegging angle of the scene was mystifying.  This observation helped many people conclude that Alberto died while his motionless partner was pegging him with a strapon.  

He spent some time making his partner look good as it was stuffed with straws and sewn up to make for a comfortable sex partner.  Alberto was described to be a lonely man within the community who tended to sheep; little wonder why he only let death part him from his new crow lover.  

Alberto’s death left a lot of questions unanswered and imaginations untamed.  People wanted to know why the scarecrow had a penis, “Was Alberto on the receiving end of the six-inch penis?”, “Did Alberto actually die from sex with the scarecrow?”, “Why did Alberto dress the scarecrow to be a woman but strapped a penis to it?”  “Was it possible that the scarecrow was pegging him to death?”  If only the man could be resurrected for a moment just to tame all imaginations and answer the questions we all have about his passing away.  

Until Alberto is resurrected, we only have a sexy scarecrow who has refused to talk.  Hope it doesn’t skip town.  

Besides finding out Alberto was probably bisexual and into strapon pegging; a few lessons were picked up from the episode.  Now, the society might just come together and help bring loners into the society, help everyone fit in and let us all enjoy the benefits of belonging in a society.  Maybe if the society was a little more accessible to Alberto he would still live today.  We all hope he has more than a scarecrow to mourn his loss.

The police got involved after neighbors notified the force of an unbearable smell coming from Alberto’s home.  We were told the scarecrow was not charged.
More information should follow once autopsy results come in.  

It is sad that he passed away, but sometimes you need to make the news a little more interesting!
 

 

Pegging is the hottest craze.  

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