Adult Wacky Races: The Vibrator Races!
While I was searching for something totally unrelated, I saw an image that caught my eye. Of course, most any image about sex toys that I haven't seen before tends to set off that peripheral radar, and that is what happened yesterday.
The image? The wacky races contests of vibrator races! At first, this had to be a joke. But then I looked at the video up close and noticed that the racing track was nicely painted and appeared to be well constructed. Can this be someone's weekend hobby? Building vibrator racing tracks and renting to groups and bars planning wacky races for publicity?
As I began to read and search more, I found a half dozen wacky races featuring vibrators. They were in bars; at bike events and rallies; and even on a radio talk show!
Even though they have a lot in common, they are still different. So sit back, and let me share some of these wacky races with you.
First, how do Wacky Vibrator Races work:
A vibrator race track usually consists of a slanted track, with 4-8 racing "channels". The starting position is elevated higher than the finishing position. The Vibrators are turned on to high-speed, placed in the starting gate — and the gates are then opened for the race to commence.
There are some variances that occur from race-to-race. Some people don't use dedicated channels, and once the vibe hits another vibe, it usually turns sideways and begins to roll downhill – and that is how they determine the winner.
In other races, women are allowed to blow their vibrators to help them along. The hot air tail wind speeds up the racing process immensely! Who knew "blowing" would speed up the finish?
AND THEN! YEP. HERE THEY ARE. VIBRATOR RACES AT THEIR
1. Elvis Duran and the morning show
Secretly I like this one the best because it puts "vibrators" as a feature on the morning show; and then they include all the vibrator racing video on their "iheart" website. This is mainstream acceptance of the vibrator at an all time high!
Of course, it is a bunch of guys with a mainly guy mix, so they had to tailor it to their group. This was the "Big Football Game" version of vibrating racing. The winning vibrator was supposed to represent WHO would win the upcoming big football game!
I didn't find any entries to confirm whether the vibrator was smart enough to really predict the winner, but they had fun — and they had a custom vibrator racing track created and painted just for them. Now that is cool!
Staying with the radio theme and football games, KLAQ did the "Super Bowl 50" version of vibrator races online also.
2. I'm not sure about this one, but I believe it was a company that went around to businesses and held wacky races at customer locations. They used the knock and roll racing format.
3. The most impressive vibrator racing track I could find was at the Urbanna Oyster Festival (in Urbanna, Virginia) in 2010. They named their track, "Dildo Downs" and was an impressive freestyle snowing competition type track. I liked it so much, I made it the first picture you see on this page.
According to the story, there is the main family "Oyster Festival" and then there are some "off-program" adult entertainment. I'm sure you can guess where the "Dildo Downs" vibrator races fit in!
4. What happens in Vegas, doesn't always stay in Vegas! Especially when you post the videos on the internet!
There is very little information about this "sex toy race" as it is called in the post, except that it involves alcohol and gambling — and of course, the vibrators provide the "sex". It is a good thing there aren't more vices!
5. The Vibrator Cup. From a "Hen's Night" home party type event in England, comes this vibrator race – that was bigger on describing each toy in detail. Unfortunately, no one consulted a vibrator racing engineer, and the race track wasn't elevated enough to make the race interesting.
6. This was one hard-drinking night at Rattlesnake Jake's, allegedly a bar in Deerfield Florida. There are more than 6 small videos of the races, as I guess they had so many competitors wanting to "slide in" to the race.
Their track is very unique – looks like it was made of aluminum gutter material — but there is no information about it online.
7. And finally, to show just how cheap desperation is the mother of invention, here is one of the wacky races from a bike fest. Based on what I have seen, I'm sure there were a bunch of other wacky races that even we can't write about!
They took a sheet of aluminum roofing material ("tin roof", aluminum sheets) and elevated one side with a key of beer. Like I said, the mother of invention. If it was in Louisiana, they would have called it "cajun ingenuity".
There are dozens of vibrator races from bike fests on YouTube if you want to see more.
I don't know anything about this one – but it was the first I found. The caption says we need "dildo Olympics".
And finally, just in case you want to host wacky vibrator races at your home or store, there is a company that makes … you guessed it … VIBRATOR RACING TRACKS!
I'm thinking of ordering one just for fun.
Looking for vibrators for your next vibrator race?
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