13 Things Guys Don’t Want to Hear After Sex

after sex


Here are 13 things guys don't want to hear after sex!  But I know there are a thousand more.  What are your not-so-favorite words you don't want to hear after sex?


Closed Caption for the emotionally impaired

HER:  This is the first time I had sex without feeling anything.  I think I can consider myself a virgin again.  

HER:  You gotta go now, next guy is coming in five minutes.

HER:  Have you heard about Viagra?

HER:  Do you think it is going to be a boy or a girl?

HER:  Thank you Lord!  Thank you Jesus!

HER:  You are so much like your dad when you cum.

HER:  You really look like my dad when you cum.

HER: See you in court!

HER:  I have had sex with dogs with better breath.  No Kidding.  I had sex with dogs.  

HER:  Mommy! Daddy!  Come and look, he's so cute!

HER:  Two and a half minutes.
HIM:   Yes!  New Record!!

HER:  Next time you suck my cock.

HER:  Thank you mother praise! 





A few others that didn't make this video, but a lot of guys would agree on:

When you say Nothing After Sex! 

You know whats worse than hearing any of the things on that list? Hearing nothing after sex. Silence in the sack is fucking awful. I’m a pretty loquacious dude. And when I watch porn I like a lot of dialogue. Do you need to be as loud as I am? No. But if the only sounds I can here are my floppy balls slapping against you and my own lungs wheezing because I’m out of shape and winded, it doesn’t exactly enhance the mood. Gimme some moans, some groans. The occasional “fuck me!” Just gimme somethin. Otherwise I might as well go home and fuck my fleshlight.




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