Are you a male New Yorker? Are you feeling stressed at work? Need a few moments to “take a load off”? You are in luck! A London-based adult store has brought the gift of relief to men all over New York, with the GuyFi masturbation booths.
A Guy Fi booth is a recycled phone booth that is made for convenient male masturbation twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. A man can slip into the booth, pull the curtain and use the attached laptop to view porn, and jack off until he blows the stress right out of his body. According to the rules, these aren’t buddy booths however; only one customer is allowed at a time.
Although public masturbation booths are not legal, this London-based company validates their booths by using them as publicity tactics to grab the attention of American Men. They state that the booths can be used in any way a man wishes to use them. In the first few days of existence on the New York Streets, the Guy Fi Booth had more than 100 men take advantage of its services.
I’m sure that Pee Wee Herman can relate to the idea of masturbation booths (Pee Wee Herman Scandal). Although he might frown upon having them in public. Then again, being in private didn’t help his argument very much either!
According to a survey, approximately 39% of the New York workforce alleviates stress through masturbation in the bathroom at work. Hot Octopuss believes more people would be promoted and happier if they took advantage of the booths provided to step away from the workplace and relieve stress in the Guy Fi booths often.
"Honey, I'm off to work!" "Ok, do you have everything dear? Sunglasses? Keys? Phone? Jack-off lube for later in the executive mensroom? So have a nice day! Think of me!"
According to many scientists, masturbation and the alone time during masturbation, is essential for the reduction of stress and depression, and for the enhancement of self esteem. The healthier the employee, the better results the company will have in the productivity department.
Cleanliness and maintenance of these busy booths is in question with many people in New York. They ask who is cleaning these? Where does the mess go? People are online advising others to enter at their own risk. Diseases and germs are harboring behind the scenes of the Guy Fi. Maybe they should have paper targets on the wall and goggles for safety. Bullseye! Oh, and I’m thinking of revising someone else’s jingle: Guy Fi Fo Cum. Exclamation Point!
Ok, so yes, we are sort of kidding. It was a great marketing ploy but there won’t be a jerk off booth on Manhattan streets anytime soon.